My Surrey Allotment

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Towns and Cities? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers “weeds” and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it — sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren’t going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch? St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough. I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: “Dumb and Dumber”, Lord. It’s a really stupid movie about…..

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

I wonder what the reaction is to all our hard landscaping with stone, concrete or decking?

Four million pounds in bonuses have been paid to the directors of water firms – despite their failure to repair leaks which allow 300million gallons to be lost every day.

All but one of the companies, which today brought in hosepipe bans for 20million customers, handed rewards to their board members in the last financial year.

These include £2million for three executives at Britain’s largest water supplier Thames Water, whose highest paid director, understood to be chief executive Martin Baggs, took home £1.67million in 2010/11.

More than £1million was paid out by Anglian Water and more than £400,000 by Southern Water, even though both failed to meet their leakage targets last year.

The daily loss of 300million gallons – enough to service the needs of 11million consumers – has made a big contribution to the water shortage.

The Mail can also reveal that an astonishing £500million was paid to the water companies’ mainly foreign shareholders for the six months to September 2011 – when drought was already blighting the East of England.

Critics say this money could have been better spent fixing Britain’s fragile pipe network.

Almost £300million was paid to investors in Anglian Water, owned by a Canadian and Australian-led consortium, £179.5million by Thames Water, which is majority owned by Australian bank Macquarie, and £16million by South East Water owned by a Canadian company.

Sutton and East Surrey Water, owned by Deutsche Bank, paid out £2.65million to shareholders. Veolia and Southern Water did not pay dividends in that period.

he payouts will infuriate customers who are banned from using hosepipes for gardening, cleaning or paddling pools from today by seven firms – the most extensive ban since the drought of 1976.

Companies have blamed the restrictions on chronically low rainfall for the past two years. Anyone caught breaching the ban faces a £1,000 fine.

Labour’s water spokesman Gavin Shuker said: ‘On the day millions are made the subject of a hosepipe ban, in the week of inflation-busting price rises, customers will find these bonus payments hard to swallow.’
‘Typical! The moment you defy the hosepipe ban the water freezes’

Both David Cameron and Business Secretary Vince Cable have recently spoken out about bonuses. Mr Cameron said ‘everybody’ had to do a better job at ‘explaining how pay is linked to performance.’

Bonuses and shareholder dividends for the financial year 2011/12 which ends this week, will be announced by water companies in June.

Their profits have soared since privatisation in 1989 as a string of financial conglomerates have bought and sold the utilities in quick succession. Anglian Water – which serves 5million customers in one of the worst-hit drought areas – announced profits of £709million last year. This was around double the 2008 figure.

Thames was bought by the Australian firm Kemble Water after a disastrous few years under German firm RWE which bought the company for £4.8billion in 2000, and sold it for around £8billion six years later.

Water companies have stressed that an hour using a hosepipe wastes the same amount of water a family of four uses in a week, and that savings now will prevent further restrictions later in the year.

A Thames Water spokesman said half of £1.98million bonuses were incentive plans from previous years only paid if the directors meet tough financial targets.

He added the company invests £1billion a year in improving pipes, sewers and other facilities.

Anglian has not banned hosepipes for 20 years. South East Water said it had to pay a reasonable return to investors who had helped fund improvements to its water supply infrastructure.

Restrictions are likely to last all summer, even if there is rain in the affected areas. Winter rainfall, as low as 40 per cent of the average in some areas, has left reservoirs and rivers low.

Nick Ellins, of industry body Water UK, said: ‘Water companies are required to meet their customers’ needs and statutory obligations efficiently, within price limits set by a regulator.

‘They also have to ensure that they win their investors’ confidence, by delivering a fair return on the investments made.’

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/markets/article-2125430/Water-companies-splashed-4million-bonuses-bosses.html

By Tamara Cohen

I have a system in place where I pop down the allotment, dunk my watering can into a recycled water butt and water the raised beds. The beds are heavilly mulched to retain the moisture so I don’t need too much water. I can supply the whole area with water in less than 20 minutes (and that includes the cycle time to get to the allotment.)
Once a week I simply connect the hosepipe to the tap and refill the water butt ready for the following week. While this is happening I can get about looking for weeds that have come through the layer of cardboard and mulch or other once a week tasks.

On average I spill about a liter per year where the odd drip falls from the connection between tap and hose.

Now with the hosepipe ban I will have to make 8 trips per day carrying a watering can to and from the tap. This way the water slops about and I spill about a liter per day. That will be 365 liters per year.

Veolia Water Central’s statement:

The water-use restriction categories for the Temporary Use Ban are listed below. These restrictions will come into effect from Thursday 5 April 2012 until further notice.

watering a garden using a hosepipe (except the watering of a field of play to be used for a national or international sporting event)

cleaning a private motor-vehicle using a hosepipe

watering plants on domestic or other non-commercial premises using a hosepipe (except by persons who are registered disabled and/or are of extreme frailty, conditional in each case upon prior written approval and the terms and conditions set out in the Exceptions Policy published on the Veolia Water website)

cleaning a private leisure boat using a hosepipe

filling or maintaining a domestic swimming or paddling pool

drawing water, using a hosepipe, for domestic recreational use

filling or maintaining a domestic pond using a hosepipe

filling or maintaining an ornamental fountain

cleaning walls, or windows, of domestic premises using a hosepipe

cleaning paths or patios using a hosepipe

cleaning other artificial outdoor surfaces using a hosepipe

The following information applies to each activity:

Legislation:
All eleven activities are covered by the Water Industry Act 1991 section 76 as amended by
the FWMA 2010 (i.e. temporary water use bans).

“Using a hosepipe”
The Water Use (Temporary Bans) Order 2010 provides the definition of “using a hosepipe” in
relation to the Water Industry Act 1991 as including:

a) Drawing relevant water through a hosepipe from a container and applying it for the
purpose; and
b) Filling or partly filling a container with relevant water by means of a hosepipe and applying
it for the purpose.

A reference to a hosepipe includes anything designed, adapted or used for the same purpose
as a hosepipe (Section 76A(5) of the Water Industry Act 1991).

“Relevant water” refers to mains water i.e. supplied by the water undertaker; it does not
include water supplied before the water use restriction was implemented.

The tomatoes and peppers have mostly germinated so I have put then on the windowsill. (their position is subject to approval)

Last year I grew some swiss chard. Not a vast amount of it just a few plants however each plant was quite productive and supplied lush green foliage for a considerable time ( it even survived the winter ).

Good news I thought but in our house chard is treated with un-warranted contempt. The green stuff was left on the side of plates.

I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to wasting food and the rule is that until we get a pig, I expect clean plates.  Normally this works, but the chard was different there was real opposition and I have to agree to the claim that it tasted like weeds. In fact in a blind taste test, stinging nettles were more popular.

The solution I found was to chop it really fine and call it miscellaneous herbs.

This worked quite well until one day I chopped it less finely and a bit of chard stalk made it to the dinner table.

I will admit I was wrong to deceive them  but do you know what they called me?

A veggie smuggler.

I found that the local plumbers merchant have pipe delivered to them on odd shaped  pallets.  They are about 6 foot long by about 2 foot wide.

If only I could find a use for such scrap..

Everyone at the allotments in Ripley has a fence of some sort ranging from the token gesture boundary markers right up to the stalag style with barbed wire searchlights and watchtowers. Mine is the only one without any fence at all. The rabbits obviously flock there (I am not sure if rabbits do flock anywhere) but I get the rabbits. So my cunning plan is to make a fence using the free pallets and to make traps or snares in the gaps.  I have started and here are some pictures that show the progress so far.

Pallet fencing

more pallet fencing

I decided that I need to get myself fit again. I used to be fit but I have let myself go in recent decades.
I thought that I could join the gym and spend an hour every couple of days on their spade machine or I could cycle down the allotment and give myself a proper workout.
I started yesterday and decided I would give it an hour. I was huffing and puffing and when I checked the time it was 33 minutes. I told you I had let myself go.
I did 45 mins today and feel better than I did yesterday. I am thinking about allowing other people to join my personal gym.

I feel quite sore today with aches in a number of areas so I must be doing good, or harm.

My garlic is rooting out the bottom of the pots and I have sown my tomatoes and peppers in seed trays.

I used two seed trays and will transplant the seedlings as soon as they are big enough to handle. I used my  seeds from www.vegetableseeds.net

Tomatoes include Super Marmande, Beefmaster, Golden Sunrise

Peppers include Super chili,  Bulgarian carrot and beauty bell.